“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.” (Nathaniel Hawthorne)
- The treacherous. I don’t think there is anything worse in life, when it comes to relationships of whatever nature, than the sordid creatures that aliment your expectancies and then betray you. Through deceit, perfidy or wickedness…maybe all at once. This type is the most dangerous as they spend considerable time, energy and action to gain your trust. To convince you they embody a remarkable figure you should allow into the deepest chambers of your self. To somehow assure you that exposing your bare core, vulnerable and integer, won’t lead you to destruction, collapse or misanthropy. And subsequently, they disappoint you in the most unimaginable way. Whether they do it covertly or bluntly, the effect is the same: utter dilapidation within. Of a bond that you constructed out of pristine credence, only to learn that it all represented, not a figment of your own imagination, but a flimsy scaffold made of brittle tools offered by a mask. Adultery, abandonment, fraud…all fit this infamous sort.
- The violent. Abusive individuals of the human species abound everywhere. From the common and despicable man that hits a (weaker) member of his family, to the lady ahead of you in the crammed queue that starts screaming hysterically when you accidentally touch her shoulder. From the preschool child that tortures his pet, to the fanatic that uses a ludicrous religious pretext to justify his/her malefic behaviour. What they all share is the impotency to create. Because creation takes genuine talent, hard-work, patience, persistence and positive dedication. So, implicitly, time and self-sacrifice for a higher and altruistic perspective. And the violent is, quite plainly, incapable of such humanity. They could sit and “go about their business”, taking advantage of others’ creations without trying to spoil them or bring forth new ones, as most of the average people usually do. But no, there is a seed of frustration pulsating beneath the violent person’s (often) apparently composed figure. And, associated with damaging environment, mediocre intelligence and undistinguished stream of conscience, it sprouts and pilots these dreadful bipeds to delusions of power. And as they aren’t competent enough to acquire it through labour and decency, they seek to seize it and impose it by means of terror. It’s the easiest thing to do: destroy. It’s the hardest thing to do: create. It takes years of commitment, labour and love to built an edifice, to grow a human being to maturity, to write a life changing book…and only a brief instant of unjust brutality to destroy it.
- The lecherous. Goatish representatives of the supposedly superior Homo sapiens sapiens are certainly not in short supply in our well (or poorly) established societies either. The feminist in must manifest a bit now, but only retaining the truthful tone of my writing voice: you can’t deny, the casual y chromosome possessor is predominant in this case (as in the previous one, if awfully ~ socially and historically ~ accurate). This is the one that makes me feel like vomiting and carrying a huge flyswatter around…if only lewd intentions could be squashed as pests, and the loathing for thrown up. Pertinent scenes for this impertinent category? The middle-aged obese guy staring and whistling at teenage girls, the effeminate pedophile doing volunteer work in an orphanage, the purported friend that begins fondling you or making unsubtle suggestions when you need comfort or simply act too natural around him…the all desperate, or prurient, or “open-minded” guys (ok, some women too) that can’t discern beyond the skin & flesh.
- The snobbish. This is the judgmental one, the one that gives verdicts and sentences. With saliva drops at the feverish mouth’s corners or with calculated calm, nevertheless driven by: momentary impulses, mass-media robotic & distorted feeding, narrow vision, stupidity drainage and other insubstantial elements. The haughty is habitually conducted by callous preconceptions and the need to toss in labeled boxes all people as if they were mere tins of dischargeable or keepable breath …based on background, country of origin, social status, colour, (non)religion, profession, gender, clothing and so on. Meanwhile, of course, they admire themselves in an unreliable mirror where all they can notice is how “special” and “worthy” they are.
- The coward. Once upon a time, I too was part of this abhorrent category. It was merely out of mistaken principles and introversion; e.g. I had long assumed that one should never argue with a much older person but agree on the surface with, as to not be disrespectful. But elderly people, I’ve learned in the past few years, are not necessarily wise and without concealed intentions. Moreover, cowardice is not only self-denying but also more crippling than raw sincerity. Personally, I have extended my then reduced-to-close-circles frankness and feel proud about…even if the price paid is that people avoid you or act embarrassed when encountering unadorned-with-politeness (so, unconsciously, with hypocrisy) attitudes. My flawed solution: I prefer to keep my distance and be interpreted as frosty rather than injure others with my sincerity…didn’t imagine how frightened most people can be by. Anyway, I simply avoid the innoxious – shy & courteous & quiet – cowards, but the ones I can’t stand are the ones that prefer to lie or make promises they don’t keep, instead of being sincere! If there were a talisman to prevent you from developing attractions for such persons whose emotional hypochondria (= fear of being rejected / criticized / treated outright) reveals itself only in time (first erroneous impression: taciturn, prudent observer, and the like) I would get myself one…if my scientifically inclined mind would allow me to believe in such stuff.
- The lazy. You can adore one’s overall character and stop doing it altogether when you truly spend qualitative time with him/her and realize how the term “teamwork” could never apply to you two. Unless the balance is heavily shifted (99%) in your direction and the word’s significance is deviated from, well, practical “symbiosis” to inappropriate “parasitism”…on you, the point of reference and passive or active exploit. From a “please, do this for me, thanks!” to a “haven’t you done that already?”, the chaotic independence of the lazy can escalate (or more correctly, descend) to tidy dependence on the other. For the one cleaning up the mess, whether is a lover, friend, work colleague or relative? From unburdened existence to chocking endeavours. Details matter a lot, and can be damn decisive!
- The weak. Weak could mean all the kinds described above, as all the former could also be mutually induced and interrelated…but here it’s about a certain type of weak. Not the one we all passingly embody at various crucial moments in our life and then make it vanish through determination, optimism and strength. The one I am writing about is the perpetual infirm. Physically, mentally, emotionally. The one that needs others to make decisions for them at every point of their existence. The one that whines, cries and shouts about their injustices, fictitious or real, but never does anything to oppose them. The one that self-annihilates their essence in depression, lassitude and defeatism. Occasional twinges of pity reverberate through myself when noticing such fine examples of absolute failure…but I cast them off, as one of the few certainties I have learned so far is that life comes from within, never from outside.